Men in flip flops and three quarter length shorts are just wrong.
I cannot believe these people wake up in the morning, pull on a pair of these ridiculous trousers, slide into a pair of between toed, rubber soled pool shoes and think “Damn I look good..” because they just look plain stupid. I on the other hand look great as I slide on my knackered Dunlop Green Flash tennis pumps and ‘weekend jeans’ (aka full of holes) But it seems I am in a minority as I see hundreds of men, shoulders back and chests out, strutting about with a quarter of hairy leg being shown and yellowing nailed feet proudly shod in split toed glory without a care in the world. While its a pleasant discovery to see someone stride by in a pair of Dunlops.
Style means different things to different people, sure we all need to wear shoes (well, some women with short hair and beards who drink warm vegetable juice and breastfeed sheep don’t) but its nice to have shoes that make us feel good as well as keeping out the rain. Same with cars, there are some cars out there that I wouldn’t be seen dead in. Mark 5 Escort, anything with seven seats, anything that even resembles a Land Rover, anything with a Rover badge etc etc, but they will all drive along, keep me dry and (unless its a Rover) get me to my destination. These cars leave me stone cold, yes I would get there but I would have to drive with a bag over my head, and the list is not complete there are hundreds of cars out there that I think have been designed by a mad, blind chimpanzee, honestly you would have been better giving a few crayons to class 2B of St Mary’s Primary, to design the look of some of these cars rather than massively overpaid designers with mechanical pencils, at least you would get a few machine guns on the bumper.
But I am in a minority again, the design teams of these companies really do know a thing or two because these cars sell (except the Rovers) People are buying them in droves, the roads are filled with Chevrolets and family orientated Vauxhalls, all in various shades of brown, but I wonder if they are buying it on looks, I bet that looks and styling are the last thing on their minds because they are British and British people have no passion for cars whatsoever.
Need proof? well look at the facts, Ford, Vauxhall, Honda, Toyota, BMW, Audi, VW, Citroen, Peugeot. Notice a connection? yup all of these are top selling car brands in the UK, and not one of them is British (nope, Ford isnt, nor is Vauxhall. Both are American) and all of them are dull, with the very odd exception in the range, the cars are so boring that you need to be prodded with a stick whilst driving them, where as cars from our heritage, Lotus, Mclaren, AC, Caterham, TVR, Healy, MG, All British, all hairy arsed, grin making, fuel drinking fun machines that break down, kill the environment and upset the odd sheep, either don’t exist or have been sold to Johnnie Foreigner, or only manage to shift 3 cars every decade to some rich bloke to do track days with. I have said before that its the fault of the Company Car, that beige fourwheel box that sits in the driveway waiting to be used like a screwdriver, a means to an end.
But I think its worse than that. Somewhere, somehow the British have had all the petrol syphoned from their blood. Show your new car to anyone and the first thing they will say is ‘Whats its MPG?’ or ‘Bet thats a lot to insure’ Wind the clock back, and it will be ‘How fast does it go?’ or ‘Bet it wont beat mine from the Cafe to the bottom of the hill’ But that sort of thinking nowadays is seemed to be not ‘PC’ not ‘Green’ (bloody hell I hate environmentalists) and too hooligan.
Thank god then for the Italians, they dont give a stuff about practicality, as long as it looks good and you look good in it then they have done their job. Which is why when anything that comes from Alfa Romeo rolls by it stands out and you can’t help but look, but be warned! the new 8c Spider is so beautiful, it makes your eyes bleed.